Figuring Things Out
I have done quite the disappearing act on my blog lately, and thanks to a comment from a friend I decided to re-surface. I haven't felt that interesting lately, and even my new class hasn't provided me with the usual funnies that I expected. Actually, I have been doing a lot of wondering about what my future holds... the near future. As a teacher, I am constantly looking 2 weeks ahead and making daily plans. (I sound organized, but it doesn't follow me home unfortunately) But recently Dan told me that if I wanted to stop working and stay home I could now consider that. What that looks like in my head is that after June of next year there will be a black void with no plans.
My first reactions were totally selfish ones like I wouldn't have to be ready for the day at a certain time, and we could plan vacations whenever... not just during off-track times. Of course it will allow me to see Josh a lot more and watch his constant changes. Plus, I love being a mom more than I thought I would. Oh, and my house would stay much cleaner. (maybe)
My second reaction is that I won't have to put up with the teachers that make it hard to work at that school. (sometimes I want my own secret entrance to the bldg. so I can avoid these certain teachers) I can surround myself with the people I choose.
Then I think, what or who will I be if I am not teaching. When I am with my class I feel like that is where I am supposed to be. Yet, I feel the exact same way when I am at home during my breaks. That's why part-time has made perfect sense to me. I also hate to think that the only K teachers left at that school are ones who hate their job, and I feel bad for the coming students.
Do I love my family more because I get a break from them every day? What happens when that leave of absence is gone? Who am I if I am not teaching?
I have until February to figure it all out...
My first reactions were totally selfish ones like I wouldn't have to be ready for the day at a certain time, and we could plan vacations whenever... not just during off-track times. Of course it will allow me to see Josh a lot more and watch his constant changes. Plus, I love being a mom more than I thought I would. Oh, and my house would stay much cleaner. (maybe)
My second reaction is that I won't have to put up with the teachers that make it hard to work at that school. (sometimes I want my own secret entrance to the bldg. so I can avoid these certain teachers) I can surround myself with the people I choose.
Then I think, what or who will I be if I am not teaching. When I am with my class I feel like that is where I am supposed to be. Yet, I feel the exact same way when I am at home during my breaks. That's why part-time has made perfect sense to me. I also hate to think that the only K teachers left at that school are ones who hate their job, and I feel bad for the coming students.
Do I love my family more because I get a break from them every day? What happens when that leave of absence is gone? Who am I if I am not teaching?
I have until February to figure it all out...
posted by Lindsey Montague @ 8:58 PM
7 Comments:
At 8:25 AM,
Annie said…
Wow! Heavy questions Lindsay. I have already decided that I am going to work part time, from home, facilitating online classes for my job. However, I haven't told my boss that yet because I'm afraid she'll tell me I can't do it. I know that I need to work because that identity as an intelligent functioning and contributing memeber of society is important to me and I like getting a paycheck. But the further along I get with this whole "baby" thing, the more I realize that being a mom is just as important and a good thing, too. Let me know what you decide. I may need some advice in the near future. Thanks for writing such a good post.
At 7:51 PM,
.::still blinking::. said…
I have never considered myself an actual working adult. I have never taken my kid to daycare, so that I could work. I have never actually worked at a real job in the real world, full time. I don't know what it is like. I don't know if I could cut it. But although I do not go to work everyday, my days are completely filled and I do make plans. I feel fulfilled.
At 7:53 PM,
.::still blinking::. said…
By the way, Gentry keeps asking about, "baby josh?"
At 9:41 PM,
Lindsey Montague said…
Thanks, Makayla. You are a great mom with a very cool kid, so I should take notes. And you DO have outside stuff that keeps you sane. I just don't know what my outside stuff would be. We need to get big-boy Gentry with baby Josh soon.
At 7:55 AM,
Annie said…
I am glad that you two are my friends, if I may call you friends. (Is that okay?) I really like reading all of your thoughts and ideas and appreciate the chance to talk with such smart, educated girls all the time.
At 8:52 AM,
Lindsey Montague said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 8:53 AM,
Lindsey Montague said…
Hey Em, I have actually been thinking of opening a private kindergarten now. Are you interested in teaching with me?! Think about it... it's in my 5-year plans.
Post a Comment
<< Home